The Quiet of an Unfinished Battle
He turned and shut the door a second time. Just as the wound began to form a fragile layer of skin, he pulled away again—a repeated blow that hurts like absolute hell. It is a cruel rhythm—to be let in, just to be locked out once more, proving that his silence is a boundary that keeps rewriting itself, leaving her to bleed from a fracture that never gets a chance to heal. And yet, she cannot find it in herself to blame him for that. She respects his decision. Instead, she blames herself for being too sensitive, for carrying a heart that insists on feeling everything so deeply. She is so sorry that he had her in his life in the first place; she never meant to become a burden, and she is deeply, truly sorry for that. Yet the world demands that she move forward now, so she forces her feet to take a step, though they are heavy as stone. But she has no command over this fractured empire within; her thoughts, her mind, and her heart are at war, and she chooses not to fight it anymore. She has no control—not over the chaos, and not even over her own feelings. She cannot stop this ache, and for the first time, she will not try. She just wants to sit down in the middle of the wreckage and let things be. A lot of thoughts are running in circles in her mind, spinning without an end. Her mind keeps asking: Why am I feeling this? Why does it hurt this much when he wasn't even mine in the first place?
She has so much left to say, a thousand words trapped inside, but she can't even find a single word to speak out loud.
For she can no longer hear the song he once shared—the melody she thought might help her when he was totally gone from sight. That song had become her solace, her only remedy to soothe the pain, but now it has suddenly disappeared, leaving the ache entirely bare. So she will let the thoughts rage, and let the emotions bleed, surrendering to the battle because she has no strength left to govern it. She is letting it all happen until the storm finally burns itself out, until the cold sets in, and she is left entirely numb, feeling no more. She may never know how go back to her old self, but right now, she just wants to feel the quiet of this unfinished battle. Moving forward to the unknown.