I don’t have many beautiful memories of my childhood due to early trauma, but there is one specific image that has stayed with me until now: witnessing a total solar eclipse, watching the moon pass directly in front of the sun. It was a rare, breathtaking collision of darkness and light, a moment where the entire world stood completely still just to witness two celestial bodies cross paths in the open sky. I realize now that our connection was exactly like that eclipse. The sun and the moon belong to entirely different spheres of the universe; they move on completely separate orbits, yet for one brief, miraculous moment in time, fate forces their paths to align in perfect harmony. Just like them, a once in a lifetime alignment doesn't need a crowded room or a public title to matter; it can be a rare, sacred phenomenon meant to be seen not by the world, but by heaven itself. Even if the rest of the universe remains in the dark about what was shared, the purity of that brief crossing is fully recognized and written in the stars. They do not meet by accident, nor are they just passing strangers; they meet for a deep, cosmic purpose. They leave us with lessons we are meant to learn along the way. Fate allows our paths to cross briefly so we can witness a short, beautiful moment in time. It was peaceful, and it was real.
I don’t regret meeting you. Instead, I am incredibly glad I got to know someone as beautiful as you. Though it was temporary, it was good for a while.
Before you arrived, there was only me and my quiet days. Meeting you and falling in love was never part of my plan, nor was it on my list, yet you arrived unexpectedly and unplanned—and I heartedly accepted you. I will be forever grateful that you came into my life. My heart felt so happy whenever you randomly shared glimpses of your past, talking about things I didn't even have to ask about, opening up genuinely while we simply conversed. Even though I talk too much sometimes, you simply listened to my random yaps and how my day went.
You felt like home. Talking to you brought a genuine peace that set my entire mind at ease. I was safe and warm in your presence, and maybe, during those quiet days we spent together, my feelings grew so silently that I completely ignored them at first. Through that comfort, I learned something deeply important from you: I realized that it is not a bad thing to stand up for myself. All my life, I have always fought for others, but when it came to my own boundaries and my own pain, I hid away in silence. That is why it has always taken me so long to trust anyone, or why I chose not to trust at all. I realized that for years, I never spoke up for the younger version of myself; I just kept all that heavy weight locked inside. But our connection taught me the value of my own voice.
It took an immense amount of courage for me to be brave enough to open up, but I slowly let my guard down and trusted you with my deepest secrets—the ones I have never told a single soul in this world—and I truly hope you always value them. You didn't force me to tell you anything; instead, you patiently waited until I realized it was completely safe. And when I did, you didn't judge me the way I thought you would. Thank you for holding them with such care. Or maybe, a simple 'thank you' isn't even enough to fully describe the kind of person you are to me.
I loved the way you believed in me and encouraged me, reminding me of what I am capable of. We respectably honored each other's boundaries, even when we can just randomly talked about plants. My heart felt full and blissful when you told me how rare it is to find someone you genuinely connect with online, and that talking to me felt great in the best way. That sat with me so deeply. It was so kind and gentle that I found myself truly enjoying our conversations, too. You were always patient, understanding, and entirely curious about my stories whenever I began sharing them with you.
I deeply admire your intelligence and knowledge. You pointed out my own self-worth in a way that finally made me see it, and that realization landed on me profoundly. I truly love how you view life, telling me your perspectives in the gentlest truth possible—truths I had to admit and understand. That was the very first time I let my guard down, and for the first time, I willingly submitted to that guidance because it was so beautiful. In a crowded room, if only people could sit and listen to you speak, they would see how amazing you are, too.
I admire your positive outlook and the way you shared your quiet, internal happiness—even just the view of your morning, what your days looked like, and your favorite things to do. I still remember when you offered to buy me a cake on my special day. My heart was full, but I shyly refused because I didn't want to mistake your kindness. Instead, you sang for me, which was far sweeter, and you even offered to get me matcha and supplements to help me get a better sleep. I was, and am, so thankful for your care.
One of the best pieces of our connection was that you love the Lord as well. I love how we exchanged take-away thoughts every Sunday; I read every single one of them. Thank you for letting me share and encounter all of this with you. I will be forever grateful.
Know that I didn't fall for convenience, or because I needed to fill an empty space. My heart actively chose you. I fell because of the amazing, genuine, and peaceful person you are—it was completely captivating. You earned all my respect, understanding, and acceptance with wide-open hands, because that is how you made me feel: honest, safe, and real. You mattered to me deeply. You took up so much space in my heart in the best way possible, and you will always hold a special place there. I thank God He let me have you, even just for a while. It was worth all the time, and it was never a waste to me.
I will continue to quietly pray for you as we move forward. I pray for nothing but the best for you—for your growth, your well-being, and your happiness in whoever you choose to be. Take good care of yourself. I learned so much from you.
There will be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you. My heart loves you still. Even though you are gone, I know I must move forward and let go of the hurt created by time and fate. It will take time, but I have to get going. Since this love is still a new sprout inside me, allow me to quietly admire you from afar, even when you are completely out of the picture.Until my heart settle. I am not holding onto you backward, nor am I begging for a different ending; I am simply honoring the space you have here in me while I learn to navigate the rest of my path. I just need a little patience on this new journey. I will take all of these lessons to become the person I am meant to be. I have to learn and grow through these unfamiliar feelings—territories of my heart that I have never been to before. I am still discovering the new me yet, realizing that I am truly capable of loving someone deeply—not in a rush, but steadily through every single high and low... until.
I leave it here.
Ginapalangga ta gid ikaw halin sa kausgawan sang akon kasingkasing.
